Queer As Tachi – Chapter 58
Swirls of pink sakura gave way to bursting green as April brought a warm, happy spring to those more than sick of the chill. The dark events of the late winter had passed with the season, and Yugi was pleased to find himself leaning on the counter of the game shop one afternoon contemplating how the good times had thankfully returned. Nothing extraordinary was happening to him, Joey was blundering his way more or less successfully through another semester of school, and Duke and Tristan were still peacefully dating each other. No trouble reared its head, neither from unexpected outside sources nor from the usual rivals and upstarts. Even Bakura seemed to be happy, from the few times Yugi had been able to catch him online or swap emails. With the full moon coming up, he had enough to look forward to, but Yami’s visit not only had completely missed the sakura festivals, he would be a few days too late to celebrate Tristan’s birthday and coming of age. Unfortunately, this month everyone’s schedules would not be able to coincide over the full moon, so Yami had to send along his regrets with Yugi when the gang gathered at Duke’s flat above his game shop to welcome Tristan to adulthood. “Nah, it’s okay,” Tristan assured him, putting his little buddy in a headlock. “It’s not your fault the full moon comes on a bad day for all the rest of us.”
“Better luck next time,” Duke agreed.
Yugi wrestled himself free and shoved Tristan playfully back. “I guess that just means Yami and I will have to spend the day alone with each other, again,” he sighed comically. “Darn.”
“Hey, that reminds me,” Duke said, as the others calmed down and all gathered around. Naturally, they were in the kitchen with the food like any good party. “Tristan and I have another announcement to make. Not such a big one as last time,” he added wryly. “But because we could probably use everybody’s help…”
“Oh no,” Joey groaned. “Let me guess.”
“Yep,” Tristan grinned. “We talked it over, and I’m moving in. My lease was gonna be up in May anyway, so I decided to take your advice – Joey – and get out of the shithole while I could.”
“And friends help friends move,” Mai chuckled, glancing around the room. “At least, guy friends do. Girl friends don’t want to chip a nail.” She sniffed and pretended to examine her painted nails.
“Sure, Tristan,” Yugi agreed without even needing to be asked. “When do you need us to help?”
“Well, I have between the first and fifteenth of May to be out of the old place,” Tristan replied, “so I was thinking maybe that first weekend. If you guys can tear yourselves away from work and class,” he added sarcastically with a glance at Joey.
“Anything to get out of class,” Joey grinned back. “As long as you feed me. Moving makes for hungry work. All them boxes to be carried up the stairs…”
Yugi leaned on the nearest counter. “So what made you decide now? Just the convenience of the lease ending?”
Duke and Tristan glanced at each other. “Well,” Duke answered for them both, “we kind of thought, after Joey brought it up, that we should give it a little time just to be sure, and talk it over first. But yeah, now is as good a time as any. Tristan doesn’t have to break a lease, and it’s not a real busy time of year for me to be taking time to settle the details.”
“I mean, we are technically going to be roommates,” Tristan added, “even if Duke owns the place. I’m not mooching off him, I’m putting my share in like I should. That way, even if the relationship fizzles, at least we’re close enough friends to make decent roommates. Sharing a place is still a good idea.”
Yugi had just popped open a fresh soda, but left it untouched as he lifted a soft, serious look to his friends. “You know, you shouldn’t look at it that way,” he said plaintively. “If you keep talking about your relationship like it’s not going to last, then…it won’t. It’ll become a self-fulfilling prophecy – expecting it not to work out means it probably won’t.” He blinked innocently at the pair of faces staring back at him. “You should just let go and think about now, and how much you like each other. The future doesn’t matter. Just accept that you’re together, and don’t think about making contingency plans in case you aren’t. I don’t want to see you guys sabotage what you’ve got before it really gets started.”
Duke and Tristan gazed at him, and then glanced to each other again. “I guess you’re right,” Tristan said sheepishly. “I just didn’t want to get my hopes up too quickly. Nothing hurts more than getting your heart broken.”
“I know,” Yugi said with a little smile. “But I’d rather have my heart broken for real, than waste all my time guarding myself so that I never really fell in love in the first place.” He shrugged and finally took a sip of his soda. “I’d think living like that would be all cold and gray. Not only do you not trust your partner, you don’t trust yourself.”
The pair shared another look, and then Duke turned to Tristan and set a hand on his waist. “I know I’m not the world’s biggest optimist,” he said dryly, “but it makes sense to me. I haven’t ever wanted to share my place with anyone before, even ‘just a roommate.’ I’ll go into it head-on if you will.”
“Of course I will,” Tristan said immediately. “It’s a good way to find out for sure if we can stand each other.”
“Yeah, like me and Mai,” Joey helpfully pointed out. “And look where we are now.”
Duke smirked. “Never mind that you’re getting the better deal out of it.”
Tristan grinned brashly back. “This is a nice step up from the shithole.”
Mai rolled her eyes. “How long have you guys been calling it that?”
“Since Tristan moved in,” Joey shrugged.
“I never expected to be there long-term,” Tristan added. “It’s the kind of place a guy gets fresh out of high school when he first leaves home. It’s mostly for sleeping and eating, definitely not for entertaining.”
“No kidding,” Duke interjected.
“Well, I think it’s cool that you guys want to move in together,” Yugi said. “No time like the present. Just say the word and I’ll come help you move.”
“I don’t have a lot to move,” Tristan admitted. “But I’ll take you up on that.”
Just a few days later the full moon came around again, and Yugi marveled to Yami that it seemed like the month had flown by. They really hadn’t been up to much and didn’t have anything planned, since all the others were busy, but it was a lovely, warm spring day and they had it all to themselves. Brisk winds and rainy skies had given way to perfect sunshine, so rather than hole up inside the house above the game shop, the pair decided to get out and take a long walk. The sakura festivals were long over by now, and the trees along the sidewalks glowed pale-green with the mantle of new leaves bursting out. “I wish you could have been here with me,” Yugi said wistfully as he walked hand-in hand with his partner, each of them carrying a bento box in the other hand. “Maybe someday the full moon will luckily fall during a festival weekend, and you can go with me to have fun and see the fireworks and all.”
“I would like that,” Yami mused, turning his smile upward into the sun. They were on their way to the park, having purchased lunch and fully intending to make a picnic out of it. “But, it’s like our friends said. Knowing that we have the ritual every month means there are never any true missed opportunities. And I am always with you. Besides,” he added, giving Yugi a cute little wink. “I only missed Tristan’s birthday by four days. That’s pretty good, all things considered.”
Yugi laughed. “And you were there in spirit, so he said it was all fine. Aren’t you lucky?” He fixed his lover with a wry kind of pout. “You’ll also miss being able to physically help out moving him into Duke’s place.”
The pharaoh grinned smugly. “You know I would help if I were able to.”
“Yeah, but you don’t exactly feel bad about not being able to.”
They found a bench in the park where they could sit together and share lunch, legs folded underneath them, facing each other as much as they could and smiling and laughing throughout the meal. Their talk remained casual, lighthearted, running around all kinds of unimportant topics until it returned again to a reminder of Tristan’s birthday and their friends in general. “That’s a lot of birthdays we’ve been celebrating,” Yami noted as he leaned against the back of the park bench and sipped at a can of soda they were sharing. “And yours is only two months away.”
Yugi shrugged. “I’m still going to be one of the last to come of age. First Joey, then Duke, then Tristan. After me it’s just Téa in August and Bakura in September.”
Yami gave him a curious look. “Will Téa be home from school to celebrate with her friends this year?”
“I don’t know…” A shadow crossed Yugi’s features. “Apart from that email after the tournament to say congratulations, I haven’t heard from her at all. She must be really busy with school this term, maybe she’ll be stuck over there in another dance production this summer.”
The pharaoh’s elegant brows twitched briefly, but he did not share his thought aloud. “You assured me once that not much would change when you came of age,” he remembered. “Simply that you would be able to drink and enjoy other legal privileges.”
“And now, I’ll become half-owner of the game shop,” Yugi said with a nod. “But no, other than that, I don’t think I’ll be any different. Look at Joey – he’s been of age for four months and he’s still the same old Joey.”
Yami laughed. “This is true. But…” He gave his lover another glowing smile of adoration. “…you will be an adult, officially.”
“So?” Yugi said with an insolent grin. “That doesn’t mean I have to suddenly start wearing suits and acting all sour and boring. I may be an adult, but that doesn’t mean I have to grow up.” He glanced away, and then suddenly grinned and sprang up from the bench. Depositing the rubbish from his bento box in the garbage can nearby, he threw his lover a teasing smile and ran across the path to the playground a short distance away from them. Confused, Yami got up and followed him, carrying the half-empty soda can loosely in his fingers. There weren’t many kids around at this time of a weekday, so the playground was tantalizingly empty and just waiting for someone to come scuff their sneakers through the wood chips. Yugi ran to the swings with a playful laugh and flopped into one, setting it swaying immediately. He beamed at his puzzled partner’s approach. “Come on!” he encouraged. “I’m not a stuffy adult yet, I can still play on the swings.”
Yami’s confusion evaporated with a cool smile. “I see. Is that what you’re up to?”
Yugi pumped his feet to swing himself higher. “I don’t ever want to grow up to such a point where playing on the swings is boring,” he remarked, taking a deep breath of the warm spring air. “I want to be like Grandpa when I’m his age – still playing games.”
Yami stood aside and watched him, his head swaying in time with the swing’s arc. “I have no doubt that you will be,” he chuckled.
“Come on!” Yugi crowed. “Swing with me!”
The pharaoh’s eyes widened. “What? Me? Yugi…”
“I don’t care if you’ve never been on a swing, or pharaohs don’t swing on the swings,” Yugi retorted. “It’s fun! You can do it!”
Yami stood there to watch him for a while longer, while Yugi laughed and pushed his swing higher, and finally gave a reluctant sigh. Setting the can of soda down beside one of the posts, he crossed to the swing next to Yugi and sat down in it, taking a hold of the chains and shifting a wary gaze at the ground as he gave himself a little push with his toes. The swing only swayed a little bit, and Yugi laughed himself breathless to see it as he continued to swing in a wide arc beside his partner. Yami regarded his young love’s encouragement with a nonplussed look. “What am I supposed to do?”
“Don’t make me get down and give you a push,” Yugi giggled, nearly sending his swing into a sideways wobble from his sudden sharp look down. “Just swing your feet, forward and back. You’ll get the hang of it. It’s nothing complicated!”
Still doubtful, Yami nudged the ground with his toes again and pushed off, the swing’s pendulum arc increasing just a little. He glanced at Yugi and then copied his movements, and before too long was swinging at a fair pace. Nowhere near the exuberance of his youthful partner, who was on quite a roll and laughing so hard at watching Yami try that he almost fell out of the swing once, but the pharaoh was definitely playing. For a while they swung back and forth, their strides unmatched, their identical hairstyles ruffling in the wind, their laughter contagious. Yami couldn’t argue with the funny feeling he got in his stomach at the apex of each swing, it was a fun kind of excitement he hadn’t quite experienced before except through his partner’s body. But swinging for too long made his legs tired and his hands raw where they gripped the chains, so eventually they both let physics take its course and wind them down to a slow, tiny swing, so they could sit beside each other and feel the scant motion while they caught their breath and talked and giggled with each other. Yugi seemed rather pleased with himself over getting Yami to loosen up and play with him just that little bit. “You’ve come a long way,” he admitted, “but you still act like a pharaoh sometimes. You should let go and just let yourself be a kid again.”
Yami smiled at him, not at all put off by the suggestion. He understood what Yugi meant. “But how can I be acting like a pharaoh if I don’t remember how a pharaoh is supposed to act?” he challenged.
“You know what I mean.” Yugi grinned back. “I guess if anyone needed proof we’re two different people, that’s it right there. I’m nowhere near as calm and collected as you are.”
Yami leaned his head against his hand where it clutched the chain of the swing. “It’s not as though I force myself to act as I do,” he murmured. “It’s what comes naturally to me.”
“It’s just your personality,” Yugi shrugged. “It’s the way you are, and it’s part of why I love you.”
Yami gave him another warm smile at his sweet words. “I suppose. Without my memories to draw upon, I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. All I have is my instinct, what feels comfortable to me.”
“We’re more than our memories,” Yugi said wisely. “But even if you could remember what your life was like, back then, I’m pretty sure either way you wouldn’t have had swings to play on when you were little.” He gave his partner a soft, beaming smile around the swing chain. “Since you were already pharaoh at a pretty young age, it seems to me. You might have not had that much of a childhood to just run around and play and be a kid.”
Yami’s eyes turned forward, toward the ground beneath the swings as he swayed gently, trailing his toe in the dirt. “I wonder,” he said quietly. “Did I play? Did I have…friends? Did anyone love me?” He lifted his head, his gaze distant, but a smile faintly played on his lips. “I can’t even imagine how it might have been. But I must have played at something…” He turned his smile back to his lover. “Or else, how would I have become so good at games?”
Yugi beamed cheerfully back. “See? That’s a good sign, I think.” He gave himself one last, weak little push with his feet and let the swing do what it wanted. “But all that matters to me now is what you are, not what you used to be. Because I love you just the way you are.”
The pharaoh slowly dragged his swing to a stop and pushed himself out of it, turning to catch Yugi’s swing and cover Yugi’s hands with his, smiling deeply down at him. “I love you, too,” he murmured. “Everything is just the way I would want it.” He leaned down and favored Yugi with a sweet kiss, which if any one had been passing by them, would have probably appeared as the cutest thing in the world with Yugi still sitting innocently on the swing, their hands wrapped together around the chains. When their lips parted, Yami smiled in an altogether different way and leaned in even closer. “Shall we continue our walk?” he murmured throatily in his partner’s ear. “Or head home and make the most of the afternoon?”
Yugi chuckled softly and blushed, lifting his head to murmur back. “Last night wasn’t enough?”
“Never.” Yami nuzzled him and kissed him again before straightening up and pulling on the swing to set Yugi swaying gently again. “But, if you’d rather play on the swings…”
Yugi waited until the swing had reached its forward apex and leaped out of it at the right moment, landing smack in front of his lover with a little bounce. “I can think of better things to play with,” he smirked. “Oo…maybe our special ropes?”
An elegant eyebrow arched. “You’re in the mood for some vigorous play?”
Yugi took a hold of his partner’s hands and clasped them enthusiastically, leaning in very close and tilting his head up to glance a kiss across his lips. “Maybe it’s your turn,” he teased. “Maybe I should tie you up this time.”
Yami chuckled dangerously. “That sounds interesting,” he said with a cryptic lilt. Then, his eyes suddenly flashed with mischief. “But I think you’ll have to catch me first.” He thrust in and gave Yugi a big smack on the lips, and then turned and darted off across the playground. Squealing at the challenge, Yugi took off after him, chasing him eagerly across the lawn, over the path, and up the next slope. Both of them were laughing again, Yami glancing occasionally over his shoulder to see how close Yugi was keeping to him. The pace wasn’t hard, but he made sure to dodge and weave around trees and park benches, tossing a laugh over his shoulder to encourage his lover to keep chasing him. Grinning, Yugi put his head down and charged, not about to give up no matter how winded this was making him. It was just a pleasure to see Yami getting into the idea of play, better late than never. Some distance from the playground, back in the less-traveled paths and open lawns devoid of eavesdroppers, Yami slowed enough to let his lover catch him, a pounce that sent them both tumbling end over end in the grass until they were gasping with laughter. They came to a rest in the middle of the grassy field speckled with springtime flowers, arms and legs tangled together, breathless and bright-eyed. The chase had done as Yami intended, and awakened both of them to thoughts of seduction now that they had found a nice, private corner of the park in which to play. They laid side-by-side in the grass, catching their breath first and then leaning in to kiss, touch, and hold, reveling in the fresh, green spring grass and the warm blush of the sun on their faces. After a bit, they settled down to just hold and be held, to lie together breathing deeply of the fresh air and brushing soft caresses up each other’s arms. Yami opened drowsy eyes to proffer a sweet smile. “You caught me,” he noted.
“You let me,” Yugi murmured cutely. “Does that mean you want me to tie you up?”
The pharaoh made a show of thinking about it. “Maybe.” But as long as they were there in the park, even with no one else around, all he wanted to do was take Yugi into his arms and roll over onto his back to let his lover lay on his chest. It left him staring up at the sky with the sun in his eyes, but he just closed them and breathed a deep, contented sigh, feeling Yugi’s weight and warmth on top of him and the tickle of his hair against his own neck. He heard the jingle of the Puzzle’s chain, and then Yugi slumped even more closely against him, arms fastened loosely around his chest. Yami purred happily. “I’m not ready to go home yet, either.”
Yugi nuzzled his neck. “There’s no need to rush,” he breathed. “We have all day.”
Yami lifted a hand and combed it absently through the short hair on the back of Yugi’s neck, soothing them both. “Remarkable,” he said after a long, blissful silence.
“What is?” Yugi murmured.
“It’s been two years since we began performing the ritual. Two years to the month.”
“Has it?” Yugi searched his memory, and then gave his partner a squeeze. “I guess you’re right. Two years exactly. Happy anniversary.” They both chuckled at that, and Yugi added, “though we’ve technically been together for longer than that.”
“Mm, yes,” the pharaoh responded. “Unfortunately, I don’t think I remember exactly what day we began our relationship…it seemed to flow naturally from partners to soulmates.”
“I know,” Yugi said with a soft, wistful sigh. “I don’t think there was any one defining moment where we said, ‘this is it, we’re lovers now.’ It seems so long ago, though. Like you’ve always been with me.” He nuzzled Yami again and settled down next to him, their faces close together. “Solving the Puzzle feels like it was another lifetime entirely. I hardly remember what it was like not to have you.”
Yami continued to stroke his hair, smiling dreamily up through slitted eyes at the sunny sky. “You are truly the light at the end of my long darkness,” he murmured affectionately. “If not for you, I wouldn’t be able to be me.”
“And you’ve changed my life just as much,” Yugi said softly. “I feel like you helped me to discover who I’m supposed to be.” He closed his eyes and purred happily. “After everything we’ve been through…it’s no surprise to me we ended up so close. We truly are made for each other.”
Yami chuckled to himself. “So which do you want to mark as our anniversary? This month, because of the ritual? Summer, because of the ring? Or Christmas, because we renewed our promises then?”
Yugi giggled back. “I don’t know. I don’t care. I can’t remember what month it even was when I started to fall in love with you.”
Yami tilted his head curiously toward his partner, still combing fingers lazily through his hair. “No? Not a hint?”
“Mmm…” Yugi’s eyes cracked open, showing that he was thinking deeply about it. “I’m not really sure. Maybe…” His eyes opened even more, as something crossed his mind. “No, I know when it was. When Bandit Keith smashed the Puzzle, and I…”
Yami’s arms tightened unexpectedly around him. “When you almost died to save my spirit,” he murmured with a hint of pain. “I remember that, vividly.”
Yugi curled into him for comfort. “I remember talking with you, one night, after I got home from the hospital. I remember being filled with a fear I never felt before, a fear that I was going to lose you. Thinking of it made me hurt worse than anything the fire did to me.”
Yami’s body heaved with a long sigh. “I remember that as well. And I remember the tears in your eyes when you promised to help me, and said you were afraid to lose me.” He nuzzled Yugi on the top of his head. “Our bond reached a new level at that time. Is that why you fell in love with me?”
“I don’t know.” Yugi closed his eyes tightly and hugged himself into his partner’s body. “It might have been…around that time. I know I felt completely different with you than anyone else. You weren’t a weird mysterious spirit anymore, you were…a person, a friend. Someone I could count on. But there was something else there, something I couldn’t put my finger on right away.” He opened his eyes and raised his head in order to smile at Yami. “We figured it out eventually. And here we are.”
“Here we are, indeed.” The pharaoh lifted his head to kiss his young love. “Three, four, five years later? Can we even say how long it’s been?”
“Just that it’s been two years since Shadi brought us the ritual.” Yugi kissed him back. “One of these days we should really thank him for it.”
“The next time he materializes out of a wall,” Yami chuckled. They both laughed at that, and hugged each other gratefully before settling back down to enjoy the sun a while longer, as long as it was shining down on them so majestically. Home, their bed, and their purple satin ropes could wait.
Very late one evening, some days after the full moon, Ryo Bakura was up well past his bedtime waiting for some overdue company. He had a paper to finish anyway, but as the night wore on, his desire to be diligent was slowly being sapped by his impatience. Marik should have been on an hour ago, but every time Ryo glanced aside at the window in the corner of his computer’s screen, the username remained dark to indicate WingedDragonMarik was still offline. Far from blaming Marik, Ryo began to worry that maybe something had happened to delay him, something he would be extending sympathy over when his friend finally came on to say hello as planned. Their chats had become nightly by now, and Ryo had to exert effort to complete his work to his usual standard of perfection while being kept up late every night. He had even turned down a suggestion from Yugi to visit with him and the pharaoh the next time Yami was embodied, to see the proof for himself after all the talk about the strange nature of their relationship. He excused it as not wanting to intrude on their time together, telling Yugi he should spend his day with his partner instead of looking after him, but truthfully, he just wanted to be around to talk to Marik again. It was probably ill-advised, to let himself get so attached to Marik’s virtual presence and plan his life around it, but right now, it was the best thing going on in his life. Ryo was beyond happy that the spirit of the Ring had not once interfered in these nightly chats or the handful of duels they had played for fun, though he always kept himself guarded against the possibility. The more time went on, the more comfortable he felt, particularly with the sun-bright glow of personality that was Marik, that drew Ryo to him like a lost traveler to an oasis.
At last, the window blinked to indicate that the user he had been watching had signed in, and almost immediately after the duel disk sitting next to his elbow on the desk lit up to indicate an active connection. Ryo grabbed the headset, initiating voice chat without needing to type a thing into the computer. “Hi,” Marik said with a smile in his voice. “I’m sorry I’m late. I can’t believe you’re still waiting up for me.”
“Of course I am,” Ryo said with a smile of his own, folding his arms on the desk. “You said you wanted to talk, I wouldn’t miss that for the world.” He glanced at the computer screen in front of him. “It’s all right, I had a paper to work on anyway.”
“Oh? Anything interesting?”
“Not particularly. An analysis of some recent articles on isolated jungle tribes.”
“Fascinating,” Marik said dryly, indicating that it most certainly wasn’t. “Actually, I’m really glad you’re here. I have something to tell you.”
Ryo sat up straighter in his chair. “Oh?”
The smile in Marik’s sultry voice became even more pronounced. “The reason I’m running so late today is that I had to go into the city to take care of some official business.” He paused for dramatic effect, and then announced, “I got the visa I need to travel to Japan.”
Bakura gave a start. They hadn’t talked about the idea of Marik coming to visit for weeks. “Really?” he gasped.
“Uh huh,” Marik confirmed. “It came through today. And, I scraped up the money I need to buy a plane ticket. I can come to see you, Ryo.” The slightest hint of seriousness crept into his voice. “All that’s left is to ask permission from my sister to be gone for a few weeks. And to make sure it’s still okay with you, of course.”
“Oh!” Ryo couldn’t help the thrill that welled up in his heart at the shy comment. “Of course it’s all right with me, Marik. I would very much like to see you. It would be fun.”
“It’s not a bad time, is it? I know you probably have exams coming up soon…”
“Not for about a month, really,” Ryo said modestly. “I suppose it depends on how long you want to stay.”
“As long as you’ll let me,” Marik chuckled. “I don’t want to be an imposition. Don’t worry, it’s not like I’d be hopping on a plane tomorrow,” he added. “But, if anything…I’d like to be able to be there over the next time Yugi performs the ritual. So we can hang out with the pharaoh if the chance arises.”
Leaning an elbow on the desk again, Ryo consulted a calendar. “Well, do you know when that is? He hasn’t told me just when he does the ritual, only that it exists.”
“Ah…” Marik fumbled briefly, not wishing to say too much. If Yugi was keeping that basic information from Ryo, it wasn’t his place to reveal it. “I think so, let me check something.” Ryo could hear the sound of him moving around, perhaps looking something up, and then a soft sigh of relief. “It would probably be around the third week, like the twentieth or so.” More shuffling, as he walked through his house. “Is that too close to your exam dates?”
“No, those won’t be until early June,” Ryo said reassuringly. “That would be a fine time to visit, I think. May is usually beautiful around here.” He cocked his head curiously, even though he was only listening to the voice in the earpiece and not able to see him. “Do you think your sister would refuse you permission?”
“Well, it doesn’t really matter,” Marik said sheepishly. “I’m going whether she does or not. I can look after myself and make my own decisions. But I’d like to go with her blessing, and her understanding of where I’ll be and who I’ll be with.”
For the first time in a while, a shadow crept over Bakura’s heart. “I don’t suppose she’ll be too happy to hear that you’re visiting the one you both had unpleasant dealings with in the past,” he said, trying and failing to remain casual.
“Ryo…” Marik’s voice went soft and dreadfully serious. “What happened in the past doesn’t matter. I’ve told you that a million times. If it mattered, I wouldn’t be talking to you, much less planning to come visit you. You know I’ve put that all behind me – it’s time you did, as well.”
Ryo sat back in his chair, his gaze going unfocused as he looked away from the duel disk connecting him to Marik across the globe. “You could be coming just to visit Yugi,” he offered. “And the pharaoh.”
“I’m not,” Marik said firmly. “It would be nice to see them as long as I’m there, but that’s not the reason I’m making this trip.” He paused and took a deep breath, and continued in a more nervous hush. “Ryo, I…I want to see you. The past few months talking to you…it’s been wonderful. It’s so good to have a friend my age to talk to, who understands everything about me and my life.”
Ryo smiled gently to himself. “I feel the same way.”
“There’s something else.” Marik’s voice dropped to its deepest whisper. “I…I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I…well, I seem to have some strong feelings about you, Ryo. Feelings I haven’t really had for anybody else before.”
The thrill in Ryo’s heart returned, this time flaring up with magnified power until he thought he might be trembling. Wrapping his arms around himself to keep himself steady, he turned his head and focused on speaking softly and deliberately into the headset mic. “I…I have those same strong feelings for you,” he confessed. “I’ve not said anything, I didn’t want to get myself attached to you if you didn’t return them…”
“I think I do,” Marik said with the barest hint of a chuckle. “But, really, the only way to know for sure is to see each other. It’s the only way to know what we really feel, and whether it would work between us. After all…” He sighed. “Being so far apart is easy. Distance puts a barrier between us. It’s not until we’re face-to-face that we’ll know, for sure, whether we’ve just been over-romanticizing these chats or…”
“Or if there’s really something there,” Ryo finished for him.
Across the miles, Marik was standing outside on the patio under the sheltering awning, the sun getting low in the sky behind him as he gazed eastward into the coming twilight. He hugged himself as he leaned a shoulder on the wall and turned his attention completely inward to his chat partner. “I like the way it feels when I’m talking to you. It’s like nothing else in the world can bother me, as long as I have you to listen and understand. And the way…you make me feel.” He closed his eyes, his voice going all soft and throaty. “There’s such a sweetness to your voice, it makes me want to put my arms around you and hold you forever. I want so much to know what it’s like to look into your eyes, and touch your face…”
Such an impressive jumble of feelings rushed into Ryo’s head and heart, that for a moment he was left gasping, tears springing to his eyes. Confused, elated, scared, and desperate all at once, he clenched a hand on his own shirt and bit his lip to keep his emotions from overwhelming him. “I want that, too,” he whispered. “I know what you look like, and I’ve seen you before, but you and I have never really spoken directly to each other like this…so that I could see your smile and know that you mean it.”
“We have the chance, at last,” Marik said eagerly. “I get to come and see you. At the very least, we’ve become close friends – we have that, and that’s reason enough. But maybe this is our chance, to find out whether there’s anything else between us.”
“I’d like that,” Ryo said shyly. “I really would.”
Marik make a gentle noise that could have been a laugh. “So when should I come? I have to buy my plane ticket soon, you know.”
“As soon as possible,” Ryo laughed back. “Now that you’ve put the idea in my head, I don’t want it to be too long.”
“I’ll look for a flight within the first couple of weeks of May,” Marik decided. “The sooner the better, but the price kind of matters too. I don’t want to blow all of my savings on one plane ticket.”
“Perhaps that first weekend of the month,” Ryo suggested, glancing at his calendar again. “So I don’t have to skip any classes to come and meet you at the airport.” A blush unexpectedly dashed across his cheeks, thinking about it. “You…you don’t have to worry about anything else while you’re here. I’ll be happy to have you as my guest. Though, um…I don’t have a spare bed, so…you’ll have to share with me.”
“That sounds fine,” Marik said, a hint of playful suggestion in his distant voice. “I’ll behave myself, I promise. Unless you don’t want me to…”
More blushing, and Bakura tried to laugh it away. “I think perhaps we should wait and see how we feel about each other when we’re actually face to face. It may be that reality pales next to the fantasy we’ve built up in our minds.”
“I don’t think so,” Marik said confidently. “It’s not like we’ve never met before. It’s just been such a long time since we even laid eyes on each other – and then, under stressful circumstances.”
Ryo folded his arms on his desk and rested his chin on them. “I remember the last time we talked, prior to the day I messaged you on this system,” he mused. “You called me, to warn me about the people who were looking for the Millennium Items. It was such a cold, perfunctory call. Short and to the point, like a call from the doctor’s office or something.”
“Ah, yes. I remember that.” Marik sighed into the headset. “The kind of call you’d expect from two people trying to keep each other at arm’s length, who thought of each other as potential enemies. I’m so glad things are so different, now.”
A worry crossed Bakura’s mind, and because he felt so close to Marik, so warm towards him, rather than hide it away within himself, he mentioned it. “What will you do if your coming here triggers the spirit of the Ring?” he asked concernedly. “I don’t want to revisit the past, but he might.”
“I’ll deal with that if the situation arises,” Marik said, rather maturely. “I’m not afraid of him, Ryo. I’m not afraid of any of it. I like you, and I want you to see that I want to be close to you no matter what. I’m not going to let the spirit of the Ring come between us, not when I have a chance to hold you and touch you and make you happy for the first time in your life.”
Ryo’s breath caught in his throat again, and this time he didn’t stop the tear that snuck out from under his eyelashes and ran down his cheek. “I don’t deserve you, Marik,” he whispered shakily. “You’ve been so kind to me, and so forgiving…”
“It’s the least I can do,” Marik said soothingly. “It’s not as though I’ve been blameless. And unlike you, I didn’t have a separate entity to blame my mistakes on. Even the dark side of me was still me, born of my hatred. I feel like I’m finally free to live the life I should have had all along, and part of that is seeking someone to love, someone I can be close to.” He dropped to his sweet whisper again. “There’s no one like that here. I know I have to leave Egypt to find it, and this dueling network has opened up a chance I never thought I would have. I won’t throw it away for all the world.”
Ryo sniffled back his tears and smiled to himself. “I can’t wait until you’re here. I want even more, now, to see you.”
“I will keep you posted every night with whatever I find out,” Marik promised. “My flight, my visa extension, everything. And no matter what Ishizu says…I’m going. I’m going to be there with you, Ryo. In just a couple of weeks, I swear.”
Bakura gave a small giggle. “Can I tell Yugi you’re coming?”
“Oh, please do,” Marik replied cheerfully. “But not until I know when, because as much as I want to see all of my friends…” He gave a small laugh of his own. “I don’t want all of them showing up at the airport to greet me. Just you. You’re the reason I’m coming, it’s only fair.”
Ryo found himself blushing all over again. “I think I can accept that.”
Ishizu Ishtar sat studying a large, ancient tome on the Greek occupation of Egypt while her younger brother and elder half-brother clinked around in the kitchen behind her, diligently doing the dishes as per their duty sharing chores around the house. A deep, calm night cooled the house, with all the windows flung open to catch the breeze smelling faintly of palm-dates and jasmine. Their home on the outskirts of Cairo, within easy distance of the old catacombs, the pharaoh’s sanctuary in the Valley of the Kings, and the antiquities houses and museums, was a pleasant mixture of traditional and modern. Like much of that part of the ancient capital, the buildings themselves were very historical, with stone or mud-brick walls and tiled roofs, patios designed to shelter from the sun during the day and take advantage of the colder desert nights, and open, airy rooms. Yet, the internet and cellular phone service had come to Cairo, making Ishizu’s job easier as a scholar and expert, and occasional guide or teacher for visiting professors and archaeology expeditions. The thick book in front of her was actually casual reading for fun, though at the moment the chapter on Ptolemy couldn’t have been more boring. It was with great pleasure that she glanced up at the sound of movement to find Marik slinking shyly into the room, looking like he wanted to interrupt her. Ishizu smiled warmly at her younger brother. “You and Odeon finished quickly,” she noted.
Marik shrugged. “It’s not hard with two pairs of hands doing the work. Um…Ishizu.” He crept a little closer, and Ishizu noticed his posture immediately. She was very good at reading people, even without use of the Millennium Necklace anymore, and had been watching him lurk about the house the past few days with great interest. He had been up to something, and maybe now she would find out what. Marik clasped his hands behind his back in a vain attempt to look casual. “I need to talk to you about something.”
“Oh?” Ishizu gladly closed the book and slid it aside, sitting back in her chair. Now that it was evening and they were all relaxing happily at home, after dinner, she had taken off her jewelry and was just lounging in a loose, sleeveless gown before bed. Her jet-black hair flowed unbound over her shoulders. “You know you have my ear anytime, brother. Is something the matter?”
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Well, not so much the matter,” he replied, coming closer but keeping the table between them. “It’s just…well, I have a big announcement to make, and I wish to have your blessing, even if it may sound like a foolish and headstrong thing.”
Ishizu arched one graceful eyebrow, but made no other reaction. “By now I know to expect headstrong things from you, dear brother,” she teased him in her soft, fluid alto voice. “I’ve noticed you going about some kind of secret mission the past few days. It’s made me very curious. As long as you’re not up to any old tricks, though…”
“No, nothing like that,” Marik said with a shake of his blond head. “You’re right, I have been up to something. But I love you, sister, and don’t want to just put my foot down and say that you can’t stop me from doing what I want to do. I hope to be able to explain it well.”
“Now you have me extremely curious,” Ishizu said, though her voice remained even and placid as it always did. It took a dreadful situation for her to get dramatic or hysterical. “What is it? You know you can trust me with anything.”
“I know.” Marik came and slid into the chair opposite her, clasping his hands and resting them on his knees. She marveled at how adult he was starting to look, and only at nineteen. “Ishizu, I…oh, where to begin?” He pursed his lips and looked away for a moment, deciding, and then faced her again with a direct look in his blue eyes. “What I’ve been doing the past couple of days is trying to book a flight out of the country. To Japan. I already got the visa, days ago. It’s good for six months, but I want to make the trip now.”
“To Japan?” Ishizu’s eyebrows went up again. “Is it to visit Yugi?”
“No,” he replied without hesitation. “Actually…it’s to visit Ryo…Bakura.”
Ishizu’s eyes widened. “Bakura?” she breathed, unable to stop herself from sounding surprised and a little concerned. “I didn’t know you had been in contact with him. Is something wrong, that you need to attend to? Is this something I should also know about, as a former tombkeeper?”
Her brother shook his head. “No, Ishizu, it isn’t like that at all. You see…I’ve been talking to him a lot. Over the internet, using the wireless duel disk system. We’ve become friends, and I…I wanted to see him. I know it sounds crazy, but in this day and age, it’s not. Not so much. In talking to him, I’ve gotten to know him very well and…and…” He trailed off, his eyes hesitant, and looked away. It seemed to Ishizu that he wanted desperately to finish his sentence, but in doing so would probably be saying something he expected her to react badly to. She did her best to remain still and not interrupt, a wordless invitation to encourage him. A long silence stretched between them, until Marik could muster the courage to just say it. “Ishizu,” he began, dredging up enough confidence, “I believe I’m falling in love with him, and I want to visit him to see if my feelings are real or just an infatuation.”
For the first in a long time, his words had a genuine affect on Ishizu. She could not maintain her perfect calm after news like that. Left directly unsaid was what it meant for Marik to be falling in love with another boy. She sat up sharply and placed her hands on the table before her in order to lean forward and address him. “Are you certain?” she gasped. “You…”
“I’m sorry, sister,” Marik said gently. “Maybe I should have said something earlier. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and I know now that I’m…I don’t like girls. I’m attracted to boys, I always have been. But I kept it to myself, because I know it’s not seen as normal around here and I didn’t know if it would matter if I wasn’t in love with anyone anyway. But now I am, and…and I need to know you won’t cast me out for it.”
“Oh, Marik…” Ishizu rose from her chair and went around the table to him, clasping one of his hands between hers. “I would never cast you out for anything, brother. I can’t have gone through the fire for you and done everything in my power to bring you out of the darkness, only to get angry with you over such a small thing.” She knelt beside his chair and held his hand to her cheek, as he stared at her in astonishment. “Truth be told, I always suspected such a thing might happen. After you and Odeon returned to me, I’ve watched you, hoping you would learn to settle down and meet people and think about your future and a family, but I can see that you are different. Different,” she repeated with a forceful look at him, “but not abnormal. I don’t think that. You are correct, there are many who do, and as such, this is probably not a tale to be told outside these walls.” She glanced over her shoulder, having already sensed somehow that Odeon had moved into the doorway and was silently listening to everything. “How much have you known of this?”
Odeon stood like a great, silent wall, arms folded over his brawny chest, expression unreadable. “Of Marik’s sexuality, everything,” he admitted. “We talked about a lot of things in our days past, including whether or not it mattered if he didn’t find girls interesting. But about Bakura, this is the first I’ve heard of it.”
“I’m sorry,” Marik murmured, bowing his head. “I didn’t want to run around gushing about it if it didn’t mean anything, but…now that we want to see each other, I can’t hide it any longer. I feel very strongly about him, and he seems to feel the same way about me.” He glanced up, not at Ishizu but Odeon. “I always knew there were parts of the world, especially here, where someone like me would not be accepted. I have to leave home in order to find what my heart is looking for. I’m going to go, I already bought the plane ticket today, but I don’t like to go without the blessing of my family.”
“Marik…” Ishizu straightened up and leaned against the table, facing him, her blue eyes troubled. “Are you certain about this? I don’t mean the attraction…I would never push you away for that. I mean, about Bakura.”
Marik frowned up at her. “What about Bakura?”
Ishizu’s mouth became a tight, thin line with her frown. “Unless anything has changed and we have not been informed, he still holds the Millennium Ring. He did not return it to the pharaoh, did he?”
“No, he still has it.”
“Moreover…he is still under the influence of the spirit of the Ring.” Ishizu’s eyes burned with sincere worry. “My dear brother, I know this must be a hard time for you. To come to accept who you are, and begin to reach out for companionship. Bakura’s attention must be hard to resist, if he also prefers boys as you do. But I do not trust the spirit of the Ring, and I fear you will be hurt if you pursue this. Emotionally, yes, but there is the possibility that he will actually harm you,” she added, her eyes shimmering. “I don’t wish to see you hurt either way. I would guard you from ever having your heart broken if I could, Marik.”
Marik stared hard at the floor between them, conscious of both older siblings waiting on his response. “I know, sister,” he said quietly. “And the thought is appreciated. But you can’t protect me forever. I need this.” He lifted his head and fixed her with a calm, even-tempered look, and once again she had the fleeting thought of how mature he had become. “I’ve been through worse pain of the spirit and come out whole, somehow, a little heartbreak would pale in comparison. It’s not as though I’ve gone and gotten my head all addled with thoughts of love and driven out all common sense. I know full well what I’m getting into, I’m going into this with my eyes wide open.”
“Marik…” Ishizu frowned gravely. “I do not like this. How do you know you haven’t been charmed by the spirit of the Ring, rather than speaking to Bakura himself? There is much he could do to you, much he could gain from you if he could twist you to his designs. Or have you forgotten that you tried to work in tandem with him to destroy the pharaoh?”
Marik’s eyes darkened as well. “I haven’t forgotten any of that, Ishizu,” he said sharply. “Ryo and I had a very long talk about that, and we’ve forgiven each other. He holds nothing against me for stabbing him and conspiring with the spirit with no regard for how it would affect him, and that is worth everything to me.” He paused to take a deep breath and calm himself again. “Ryo and I have been talking together for hours every day, for the last two months or more,” he told his siblings, closing his eyes. “I’ve even dueled him, and the spirit of the Ring never once came out. He’s shared with me his deepest pain and fear, we’ve both been brutally honest with each other. I don’t believe that the spirit of the Ring could keep up that complicated and extensive a charade.” He opened his eyes and looked first to Ishizu, then to Odeon. “It’s not that I’m ignoring the spirit’s existence. I know he’s there, and I know what kind of threat he can be. I was with Yugi last fall, and saw the change come over Ryo when we were talking to him. My point is, I’m not letting it stand in the way of getting to know Ryo.” He looked back at his sister, his blue eyes filling with a great, raw empathy Ishizu had never seen before. “He needs me,” he pleaded. “He is so hurt, and damaged. No one trusts him, no one wants to be close to him. The Ring spirit has stolen every good thing he wanted to have, simply by driving away most of his friends and leaving him so utterly alone. I can change that. No one else has the strength to stand up to the spirit and get close to Ryo.”
“But at what cost?” Ishizu closed her eyes and sighed. “Marik, I just don’t want you to get into something you can’t get out of. This connection between you and him frightens me.”
“Sister…” Marik rose out of his chair just enough to lean forward and clasp her hands. His palms were warm and moist against her cool skin. She looked up to find his eyes hard, determined, but with a touch of a plea deep inside them. “That connection is his only hope, right now. The only other person in the world who understands him to the deepest part of his soul is Yugi, and he can’t be for Ryo what Ryo needs precisely because the spirit of the Ring stands opposed to the pharaoh. I am the only one who can get close to him – no, I’m the only one who wants to get close to him – and withstand that evil spirit if he dares to rear his ugly head. But more than that…I just want to find out if all these feelings knotted up inside me could ever come to anything.” His hands slid away, and came to rest in his lap, giving him the appearance of a sage or a ruler sitting upright in his chair, rather than a nineteen-year-old man with a heart brimming over with infatuation. “I’m an adult, Ishizu, and can make my own decisions,” he concluded, a little more firmly. “And it’s because I am that I’m not running off in the middle of the night with my bags and leaving you to wring your hands at my impetuousness. It’s only for a few weeks, to spend some time getting to know him and hang out with my friends who all live there in Domino. No matter what, I’ll come home by the end of the month, give or take. Odeon can more than handle the tasks both of us usually do, though I’m sure it’ll cut into his generous free time a little,” he added with a smirk at his half-brother.
Odeon smirked back. “At least I don’t spend all of my free time dueling online.”
Marik returned a serious gaze to Ishizu. “Do I have your blessing, sister?”
She held his gaze for a long time, and finally sagged in defeat, though her brow remained knit with concern. “I know I can’t stop you from going, Marik, and I wouldn’t. I know that you have been restless ever since going over there last fall and seeing your friends again, and knowing now that your heart seeks something you probably won’t find here in Egypt, I have even less desire to keep you penned here like a child. But…” She leaned forward and seized his hands again. “…please, do not let your emotions get the better of you. Keep your eyes open, and don’t think that just because you care about Bakura, that it will be enough to fend off a dark spirit. Such concepts make for good romantic legends, but nothing more.”
“I know,” Marik nodded. “I will, Ishizu. I have no illusions about it. But I have to go – I have to see him. To know, for sure.”
“Very well,” Ishizu sighed. “When are you leaving?”
“Next week. All my papers are in order, it’s all taken care of. I’ll be staying with him, I’ll make sure you have the phone numbers and everything. And if nothing else, you can always contact Yugi to keep an eye on me,” he added with a rueful smirk.
Ishizu nodded but said nothing more on the subject, allowing Marik to get up and place his hands on her shoulders, kissing her fondly on the forehead. Not only was he looking older and mature, he was finally taller than her. “Thank you, sister,” he breathed. “I promise to behave myself. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go let Ryo know the good news.”
Ishizu lifted her eyes to his face, trying to erase the worry from her expression as best she could. “He is waiting for you?”
Marik nodded. “I told him I would be on very late tonight, but I would have the information about my flight. If I don’t go online, he’ll worry.”
“Of course. Go, do as you must.” She waited until he had breezed out of the room before turning to Odeon, her features darkening again. “Well?”
“If you expect me to agree with you, Ishizu…” Odeon took a few slow steps into the room, though he still had his arms sternly folded. “This time, I have to side with Marik. It isn’t that your concerns are not valid…”
“You knew he liked men,” his half-sister said warily.
“I knew before he did,” Odeon admitted, his golden eyes downcast as he paced across the room. “The longer he spent in the world, dabbling in pursuits so wildly divergent from his ascetic life as a tombkeeper, the more clear it became. I protected him from simply running out and indulging himself the moment he reached his sexual maturity, but the yearning was always there, buried beneath his anger, resentment, and greed. To that end, you can at least take comfort that he’s still a virgin.” He stopped near the window and turned to face Ishizu. “He confided in me not too long ago. He understands fully now what he is, and why he feels the way he does. To be honest, I’m glad.” His eyes burned with a secret anguish that only he could bear. “Confusion is often harder on someone his age than simple loneliness.”
Ishizu pushed herself away from the table and went to her brother, facing him in the frame of the window so they could lower their voices and talk in confidence. “I know you and Marik are closer than I can be to him, because of those years we spent apart. Is that why you support him so eagerly in this?”
“Ishizu…” Odeon placed a heavy hand on her slender shoulder. “I feel for him the way you do, because he’s our brother and the only thing we want is to protect him and see that he isn’t hurt by the slings and arrows of life. But I also understand that he has come to an awakening, and at long last, has found something that makes him happy.” He shook his head slowly. “I have never seen Marik so happy, ever, not in all our years. He is happier than he even was as a small child, before the weight of duty and history fell on his young shoulders. When he comes into our room at night, after talking to Bakura, he can’t stop himself from smiling. He doesn’t tell me much of what they speak about, it may not be much, but the simple act of sharing conversation with Bakura puts him in such a glad mood I could swear he was glowing like the sun.” A wry smirk twitched Odeon’s lips. “It may be a thing only brothers can see in each other, or perhaps a thing he would be embarrassed for his sister to see.”
Ishizu blinked at him. “And you’re not worried about Bakura?”
“Marik is the last person who would ignore or dismiss the Millennium Ring and its spirit.” Odeon shook his head again. “I am not worried. My wish to see Marik happy overrides my brotherly concern. I think it would be best if we both encouraged him, or at least didn’t discourage him from exploring a loving relationship. It is the one thing he has never had, and yearns for with all his soul.” His golden eyes saddened. “He knows we love him, but family love is not the same as this. I think it will do him much good, regardless of Bakura or the spirit or anything that might happen on that level.”
Ishizu lowered her gaze, to where her hand rested on the frame of the open window. “That much is true,” she softly admitted. “I would like to see him fall in love and build a normal life, he deserves it. But, how can he, if he is…?”
“Yes, Ishizu.” Odeon looked solemn. “He is gay. Or at least has tendencies toward it. You can say it.” He sighed. “As for the how…I fear to point out that it cannot be done here, in Egypt. Even if we aren’t part of a religion that forbids it, most of our neighbors and the government itself are. That’s why it’s so important to let him get away for a few weeks, and explore it for himself. If we forced him to stay here, it would always be something out of his reach, something he could see but not touch or taste, and the yearning would drive him mad.” He frowned. “You do remember where that brought us the last time he yearned for something he was not allowed to have.”
“All too well, brother.” All three of us, our lives nearly destroyed. Father, dead. Marik, lost. “I would not wish to do that to him again. I agree, he does need to escape and explore himself for a while. On that ground, I have no objection to his journey.” She made a face. “I just cannot help my displeasure at the thought that it’s Bakura he is going to see.”
“Then, take my reassurance,” Odeon implored. “Whether or not Marik’s judgement is colored by his emotions, mine is not. It seems to me that he has a strength and compassion that exceeds ours, because it was born from his failure. His change of heart has made it easier for him to touch Bakura’s heart in turn. He may be right – he may be the only one who can not flinch in the presence of the Ring spirit. As his family, we have to show him we believe in him. We have to support him, now more than ever. And in this, more than ever.”
Ishizu sighed, and stood quietly while Odeon put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her. “Very well,” she relented. “But I reserve a sister’s prerogative to fret about him every day while he’s gone.”
Odeon chuckled deeply. “I would expect nothing less of you.”